Mistakes and forgiveness

Mistakes happen all the time. Often you get irritated by mistakes and you want to correct them, but how many can you correct? You correct others’ mistakes for two reasons.

The first is when someone’s mistake bothers you, and the second is when you correct someone for their own sake so they can grow, not because it bothers you. Correcting mistakes for the first reason – when the mistake bothers you – does not work.

To correct mistakes you need both authority and love. Authority and love seem to be contradictory but in reality they are not. Authority without love is stifling and does not work. Love without authority is shallow. You need both but they need to be in the right combination so you can be successful in correcting others’ mistakes. This can happen if you are totally dispassionate and centered. When you allow room for mistakes, you can be both authoritative and sweet. That is how the Divine is – the right balance of both. Krishna and Jesus had both. People in love also exercise authority with those they love. Authority and love exist in all relationships.

As individuals, we sometimes feel that we have not done anything wrong, yet the other person believes that some injustice has been done to him. If the other perceives us as the cause for their pain or suffering, it is wise for us to ask for their forgiveness.

Yet we commit so much mistakes and sin against God orders , in our lust, envy, jealousy, anger, breaking the commandments, lie, steal, cheat, swear ,commit the 7 sins daily and so on . We never apologize to God or say sorry!

Someone saw me in my house that I followed a fly got in my house from the garden, so I took a soft tissue and gently captured the fly then released her back to the garden , he said are you stupid wasting your time with this fly and she might come back to your house ? Why you don’t kill her?

Why, I answered, why should I kill she is not harming me, she is lost and I gave her

Life to live another day is it that more generous, merciful and beautiful to see all life forms have another chance. If it was a scorpion or poisonous snake that will be a different story. So to me she wasn’t an evil enemy or dangerous killer.

Even when we walk, or talk or do something else any action has some flaws, and it might effects other living been. Any of our actions could have hurt someone. Therefore, if without our knowledge, our actions have hurt someone, we should not hesitate to ask for forgiveness. Knowingly or unknowingly, intentionally or unintentionally, if you have hurt someone by your thought, word, or deed  you ask that they forgive you.

Neither forgiving nor asking forgiveness will make one’s social status go down. In fact, it shows one’s strength. You are taking responsibility for clearing up some conflict that has happened in the past, and bringing harmony in its place. The respect that you gain by your compassion, by your broadmindedness, cannot be lost. Continue Reading →

The 40-day memorial period for the dead person

The 40-day memorial period for the dead person has a major significance in traditions of Eastern Orthodox, Middle Eastern culture and other cultures.​It is believed that the soul of the departed remain wandering on Earth during the 40-day period, coming back home, visiting places the departed has lived in as well as their fresh grave. ​In Russian and Greek​tradition, bread and a glass of water is put in the ​icon corner in the house of the departed. The bread and water are intended for the departed and other deceased ancestors who will visit to remember him. 

The glass is refilled with fresh water daily while water from the previous day is poured out. It is common to make up the bed for the departed during the 40-day period, donating the bedding to the poor on the 40th Day.

 A towel for the departed is hung next to the window and brought to the church on the 40th Day. The house doors are adorned with spruce branches for the departed to easily find his house and for the passersby to give their respects. On the 40th Day the branches are brought to the cemetery or burned. ​In the Middle East they use palm tree staff, they put fresh staff on the grave.​

All remaining ritual items in memory of the departed are removed from the house, his cloth is donated to the poor.​ All ceremonial restrictions are also lifted on the 40th Day, it is no longer prohibited to lay on the departed bed, to leave the house empty and locked, to turn off the light in the departed room, to touch the departed cloth, etc.

It is also no longer prohibited to decorate the departed grave.​As some do believe that some souls will come back to the place, wander around, and check on their beds, chair and favorite spots and pets.

The family gathers on the 40th Day inviting those who wish to remember the departed visiting the grave and the church and having a memorial meal at the house. The church serves the 40th Day panihida  with prayers comforting the living and reminding the living of the brevity of life. The meal at the house includes traditional dishes of remembrance:kutia, kissels, honey drinks. In some traditions all night vigils with intense prayers are held on the night before the 40th Day.

The Motive of the 40th Day is “we said goodbye to you, no longer come to us, we will come to you.” After the 40th Day the living can no longer grieve about the departed, they must move on with their lives. All funeral wreaths are removed from the grave and burned.

​In Muslim tradition reading of the holy Quran, prayers will start day before until dawn in memory of the person, and they donate money and food to the poor almost daily to the end of the 40 days .They call it Sadaqa . Continue Reading →