The victim and the oppressor are two sides of the same coin BY- Steve Ramsey, PhD -Public Health Human beings are subject to a wide range of subconscious negative emotional-mental … Continue Reading →
Mental, Emotional,& Spiritual healing Steve Ramsey, PhD -Public Health There is mental, emotional, and spiritual energetic healing. Healing oneself is a widely spread concept among most spiritual practices. While each … Continue Reading →
Imagine just another ordinary day in your life. You wake up at the same time, do your morning routine, and eat breakfast. But then, you get that text. It’s your … Continue Reading →
Many agencies ,people, journalist, priests trash and bad mouth the scientology church based on rumors and false facts or based on isolated cases that one or few individuals done with … Continue Reading →
Sacrifice; Continue Reading →
HELP LINE HERE WITH US IS for FREE, I can help you in this time of uncertainty , sadness, stress, anger issues, depression, and severe anxiety
Dear Friends, and readers
For many people who have recently lost a loved one, the very sight of leaves falling from the trees in This winter with covid still in the Air and China virus killing millions and destroying lives and economy, fear sets in and the worse than that is increasing level of anxiety from fear of death, contracting china virus, and losing loved one over, the upcoming holiday season.
The closer we get to December, the greater the pain and loneliness which often creates the impression that the holidays may be impossible to survive.
To make matters worse, it seems that we are left alone with these feelings, because it is not appropriate to discuss a sad topic like grief, sadness, stress and anger and we left alone to deal with denial, shock, anger and depression ,mourning during the holidays when everyone around us is carefree and happy, or pretending to be happy.
The loss of life is worse but it can be devastated also when you lose your job, divorce your partner or lose your pet. Crying seems the only comfort you have at this moment.
So how to “survive” those first holidays after the loss of a significant person or element in your life? You can email me , here in my blog and I will do my best to help you guide you for free , you are not alone, and you need someone to listen to your pain and help you to navigate the difficulties
If you are in a situation where you can’t cope you can email me for help. If I do not answer immediately or replies right away, please understand that we receive hundreds of emails a month.
I can also direct you to social worker or clinical psychologist and hope I can help you to realize that this life is a short trip and we must do our best to help each other, be kind to one another and point the facts and not fingers. Remember that in extreme stress, anxiety and depression you are weak and the paranormal senses can be very strong and you think you are losing your mind.
Steve Ramsey, PhD, Public Health, PgD-Natural Health ,
MSc medical ultrasound, BSc diagnostic imaging. Diploma in Radiology, Diploma in Sonography, SPI Physics teacher online, and MSK hands on instructor. Author
Paranormal researcher, expert and investigator, and Blogger
Steve Continue Reading →
Many mentally challenged and dangerous immigrants brought to Canada, we ask why? Canadians should sue the immigration minister and Canada officials who bring those people with so many mental issues from bipolarism, psychosis , schizophrenia, to many other problems here to Canada and we the taxpayers pay the bills under humanity and human rights . Many of those people come specifically from India, punjab,Iran, Iraq, Pakistan, Jordan, Eastern Europe and China. Then they have anxiety and depression in this cold country with long winter and kill people , beheaded them in greyhound bus , rape children , paedophile behaviour , so called honour killing, killing people with cars and drive overtime then the court release them due to mental issues back to the street. Or some go to spend time in 5 star hotel called canada prison with everything paid from schooling to food to finishing a degree ! enough is enough and stop bringing those people here without screening , we are sick and tired and it is not fair for the rest of indians, punjabis, and middleastren people who are good and work hard and have great personality but people here look at the bad apple, and the retarded person and then judge all the same.
said a person from the community. Zaineddin Al Aalak (inset) was charged with second-degree murder and committing an indignity to a body in connection with the death of his father, whose body was discovered at a construction site in Okotoks. AL CHAREST/POSTMEDIA
A Calgary man accused of killing his father and dumping his remains at an Okotoks construction site made a brief appearance in a Calgary courtroom Thursday morning.
Zaineddin Al Aalak is charged with second-degree murder and committing an indignity to a body in connection with the death of his father, whose body was discovered Monday.
Hiking dinosaur goes to great heights for Calgary Food Bank
Thursday morning, the 21-year-old appeared briefly in a Calgary courtroom via CCTV from the remand centre. The matter was put over for another month.
Police believe an altercation that occurred at Al Aalak’s Acadia home ultimately led to the death of his father, whose body was discovered at the construction site on the D’Arcy Ranch golf course.
Officers were first called to the accused’s home late Monday afternoon for a check on welfare call.
Police returned the next day “to ask more questions and to connect some dots,” said Calgary police acting Insp. Paul Wozney, and Al Aalak was eventually arrested and charged.
The name of the accused’s 53-year-old father has not officially been confirmed by authorities.
A former high school classmate and friend of Al Aalak from Hamilton, Ont., said he was “shocked” when he learned about the charges.
“He never came across as violent whatsoever,” said the friend, who asked not to be identified.
Social media accounts appearing to belong to the accused clearly indicated his passion for martial arts.
Al Aalak followed several mixed martial arts fighters on social media and appeared to maintain his own Facebook page promoting himself as an MMA athlete.
Zaineddin Al Aalak on trial for 2nd-degree murder in 2017 death of his father Mohamed Continue Reading →
Does Chemistry feeling secure a good relationship ;The answer is NO
There are 6 key areas that couples need to connect on to stay together happily long-term.
They are compatibility, having common goals, moving at the same pace through life, the right timing , attraction to personality and admiration ,– and one other mysterious ingredient that is arguably the most important of all: Chemistry (SPARKS, ROMANCE) and that is LUST factor.
If you have a Lust at first sight, Instant attraction, feeling really comfortable around someone after exchanging two words this is the start of sexual lust relationship but not secure you to last long, As many are divorced , abused, dumped by those who have a great chemistry with .
IT IS ALL BULSHIT AND PURE LUST, IN 99.9% OF THE TIME, it’s fun and that’s it. It allow them to use you, use your body and then dump you after few years.
Finding yourself ignoring the hot person trying desperately to talk to you ,and instead feeling an irresistible urge to kiss their unattractive friend.
Feelings like you know someone’s soul when your eyes lock.
And there’s a simple way to tell if you’ve got it with your partner: if you have to think too hard about it, you haven’t.
Chemistry is instant: it’s either there right from the start or it develops rapidly.
Apart from being none-too-subtle, chemistry is illogical, irrational and out of our conscious control – which is why it can land us our perfect match or in scalding hot water.
It starts when you are child, teen and growing you perfect this false picture of you in bed with someone , the person you like and what they suppose to look and do etc. Y
our parents, family members and your culture can lead you to be repulsive away from your kind and look for a different culture to make yourself fit and belong. Even if that means leaving your culture, heritage, family and religion you still go and sleep with that person and possibly marry them.
Chemistry doesn’t care if this person will dump you after three nights, divorce you after 5 years or drift away after 9 months, you don’t look ahead if you will live with him/ her in a nutshell, or be his maid and sex salve and yet you allow them to use you will pleasure .
This happen to those who have abused childhood, family raped and sexual abuse while in their teen. Also to those who want to change their skin and culture by associated themselves with other cultures, find them so attractive even if they are from different background, skin color, and different faith.
Chemistry works on a primitive level – like whether your body wants to get close to theirs. In the animal Kingdom we see more of this.
IT IS PURE LUST.
It’s involuntary and feels delicious, which is why it’s so frustrating when we find chemistry with people we know we shouldn’t (your best friend’s husband, your friends boyfriend, your priest, your teacher, doctor, or the police man who come to the hospital or the EMS nurse ,etc
By the time you are 50 plus years you will find that all these chemistry was all lust and temptations.
While chemistry alone won’t guarantee you a great relationship , it is a good recipe for a sexual lust relationship .Many women want to be dominated, slaved without knowing and they refuse to admitted otherwise . That is why we see so much abuse, hurt, depression, suicides by those men and women in these kind of relationship , not all by majority of them.
Many women confuse lust with chemistry as If you’ve only made love once or twice with a deep, tonsil-touching kiss doesn’t end with both of you ripping your gear off in the lounge room, it is not a good sign and chemistry, well it is lust, pure and simple.
Burning loins, frantic underwear removal, snogging in inappropriate places – if you’re not doing it in the beginning, you sure as hell won’t be six months down the track (let alone 5 years on the road , when your man drift away from you it is the end .
So chemistry have a shelf life and not many women knows that ( shelf life), the smart woman should read about shelf life of chemistry before even start . Smart men should know that too and keep the chemistry burning with a good shelf life and not burn the sparks at once.
If you’re both emotionally healthy and don’t have any hang-ups, my honest answer is, not usually. But there are exceptions.
If you’ve had bad sexual experiences that have made you afraid of sex, you might be too scared to feel passion. in case of sexual abuses , especially here in Canada and USA where many women sexually abused as a child or teen by family member, stepfather, a boos at work , a teacher etc.
You probably won’t have ‘chemistry’ with any partner, not just this one.
Or perhaps you’ve been hurt one too many times and fear that if you give all of yourself (commit your heart, mind and body) you’ll never survive if it happens again.
In those situations, it’s worth getting some therapy and seeing how you feel afterward.
Otherwise, think about whether this person should be your partner than you chemistry imaginary man.
Can a good relationship develop when all you have in common at the start is the frantic urge to shred the sheets together?
You bet it can! Sexual attraction is incredibly powerful but you need to give a chance to that special friend who you kept in the corner as friend only.
If you’re working through the Kama Sutra for the sixth time and still don’t know the names of their brother and sister (or even if they have any), it’s a pretty safe bet it’s lust.
If you’re still spending most of your time having sex but have at least emerged long enough to meet each other’s significant friends and family, hang in there.
CHEMISTRY in scientific term; involves the elements and compounds composed of atoms, molecules and ions: their composition, structure, properties, behavior and the changes they undergo during a reaction with other substance.
So both of you are the main elements that have sexual lust and compounds, the properties that attract you to his/her negative or positive values it changes you and dissolve your emotion to be one after reaction in sexual lust.
The hydrogen and oxygen lust each other to compound and reacts to make water, cool and smooth water ,yet the hydrogen is infallible gas and the oxygen is allowing this gas to burn even more both reacts to ignite and spark toward relaxing result and that is water.
So the result of this chirms try in human is to burn the hidden sexual energy and urge to be shared with strangers to reach the ultimate cooling and relaxation , and that in turn lead to addiction and so in human many men will leave you , dump you and go find better suitable more sexual partner to spark with.
SO DON’T BE FOOLED BY CHEMISTRY ALONE. Continue Reading →
Lucifer Satan and Caligastia the unholy trinity Since Michael elected to remain aloof from the actual warfare of the Lucifer rebellion, Gabriel called his personal staff together on Edentia and, in counsel with the Most Highs, elected to assume command of the loyal hosts of Satania. Michael remained on Salvington while Gabriel proceeded to Jerusem, and establishing himself on the sphere dedicated to God , the same Universal God whose personality Lucifer and Satan had questioned , in the presence of the forgathered hosts of loyal personalities, he displayed the banner of Michael, the material emblem of the Trinity government of all creation, the three azure blue concentric circles on a white background.
The Lucifer emblem was a banner of white with one red circle, in the center of which a black solid circle appeared.
There was war in heaven; Michael’s commander and his angels fought against the dragon (Lucifer, Satan, and the apostate princes); and the dragon and his rebellious angels ( third of the angels ) who became falling angels – demonic ,ought but prevailed not.” This “war in heaven” was not a physical battle as such a conflict might be conceived on Urantia.
In the early days of the struggle Lucifer held forth continuously in the planetary amphitheater. Gabriel conducted an unceasing exposure of the rebel sophistries from his headquarters taken up near at hand. The various personalities present on the sphere who were in doubt as to their attitude would journey back and forth between these discussions until they arrived at a final decision.
But this war in heaven was very terrible and very real. While displaying none of the barbarities so characteristic of physical warfare on the immature worlds, this conflict was far more deadly; material life is in jeopardy in material combat, but the war in heaven was fought in terms of life eternal.
A LOYAL SERAPHIC COMMANDER
There were many noble and inspiring acts of devotion and loyalty which were performed by numerous personalities during the interim between the outbreak of hostilities and the arrival of the new system ruler and his staff. But the most thrilling of all these daring feats of devotion was the courageous conduct of Manotia, the second in command of the Satania headquarters’ seraphim.
At the outbreak of rebellion on Jerusem the head of the seraphic hosts joined the Lucifer cause. This no doubt explains why such a large number of the fourth order, the system administrator seraphim, went astray. The seraphic leader was spiritually blinded by the brilliant personality of Lucifer; his charming ways fascinated the lower orders of celestial beings. They simply could not comprehend that it was possible for such a dazzling personality to go wrong.He used his lies an deceits to win al those falling angels.
Not long since, in describing the experiences associated with the onset of the Lucifer rebellion, Manotia said: “But my most exhilarating moment was the thrilling adventure connected with the Lucifer rebellion when, as second seraphic commander, I refused to participate in the projected insult to Michael; and the powerful rebels sought my destruction by means of the liaison forces they had arranged. There was a tremendous upheaval on Jerusem, but not a single loyal seraphim was harmed.
“Upon the default of my immediate superior it devolved upon me to assume command of the angelic hosts of Jerusem as the titular director of the confused seraphic affairs of the system. I was morally upheld by the Melchizedeks, ably assisted by a majority of the Material been, deserted by a tremendous group of my own order, but magnificently supported by the ascendant mortals on Jerusem.
“Having been automatically thrown out of the constellation circuits by the secession of Lucifer, we were dependent on the loyalty of our intelligence corps, who forwarded calls for help to Edentia from the near-by system of Rantulia; and we found that the kingdom of order, the intellect of loyalty, and the spirit of truth were inherently triumphant over rebellion, self-assertion, and so-called personal liberty; we were able to carry on until the arrival of the new System Sovereign, the worthy successor of Lucifer.
And immediately thereafter I was assigned to the corps of the Melchizedek receivership of Urantia, assuming jurisdiction over the loyal seraphic orders on the world of the traitorous Caligastia, who had proclaimed his sphere a member of the newly projected system of ‘liberated worlds and emancipated personalities’ proposed in the infamous Declaration of Liberty issued by Lucifer in his call to the ‘liberty-loving, free-thinking, and forward-looking intelligences of the misruled and mal-administered worlds of Satania.’”
This angel is still in service on Urantia, functioning as associate chief of seraphim.
HISTORY OF THE REBELLION
The Lucifer rebellion was system wide. Thirty-seven seceding Planetary Princes swung their world administrations largely to the side of the archrebel. Only on Panoptia did the Planetary Prince fail to carry his people with him. On this world, under the guidance of the Melchizedeks, the people rallied to the support of Michael.
Ellanora, a young woman of that mortal realm, grasped the leadership of the human races, and not a single soul on that strife-torn world enlisted under the Lucifer banner. And ever since have these loyal Panoptians served on the seventh Jerusem transition world as the caretakers and builders on the Father’s sphere and its surrounding seven detention worlds.
The Panoptians not only act as the literal custodians of these worlds, but they also execute the personal orders of Michael for the embellishment of these spheres for some future and unknown use. They do this work as they tarry en route to Edentia.
Throughout this period Caligastia was advocating the cause of Lucifer on Urantia. The Melchizedeks ably opposed the apostate Planetary Prince, but the sophistries of unbridled liberty and the delusions of self-assertion had every opportunity for deceiving the primitive peoples of a young and undeveloped world.
All secession propaganda had to be carried on by personal effort because the broadcast service and all other avenues of interplanetary communication were suspended by the action of the system circuit supervisors. Upon the actual outbreak of the insurrection the entire system of Satania was isolated in both the constellation and the universe circuits.
During this time all incoming and outgoing messages were dispatched by seraphic agents and Solitary Messengers. The circuits to the fallen worlds were also cut off, so that Lucifer could not utilize this avenue for the furtherance of his nefarious scheme. And these circuits will not be restored so long as the archrebel lives within the confines of Satania.
This was a Lanonandek rebellion. The higher orders of local universe sonship did not join the Lucifer secession, although a few of the Life Carriers stationed on the rebel planets were somewhat influenced by the rebellion of the disloyal princes. None of the Trinitized been went astray. The Melchizedeks, archangels, and the Brilliant Evening Stars were all loyal to Michael and, with Gabriel, valiantly contended for the Father’s will and the Son’s rule. From this astrology was born and practiced by the hindu, buddhist , pharos and those who used to pray to idols in sumaria, akadia and babylonia and other old empires who believes in those entities and mistakened them as thier Gods.
No beings of Paradise origin were involved in disloyalty. Together with the Solitary Messengers they took up headquarters on the world of the Spirit and remained under the leadership of the Faithful of Days of Edentia. None of the conciliators apostatized, nor did a single one of the Celestial Recorders go astray. But a heavy toll was taken of the Morontia Companions and the Mansion World Teachers.
Of the supreme order of seraphim, not an angel was lost, but a considerable group of the next order, the superior, were deceived and ensnared. Likewise a few of the third or supervisor order of angels were misled. But the terrible breakdown came in the fourth group, the administrator angels, those seraphim who are normally assigned to the duties of the system capitals. Manotia saved almost two thirds of them, but slightly over one third followed their chief into the rebel ranks. One third of all the Jerusem cherubim attached to the administrator angels were lost with their disloyal seraphim.
Of the planetary angelic helpers, those assigned to the Material been, about one third were deceived, and almost ten per cent of the transition ministers were ensnared. In symbol John saw this when he wrote of the great red dragon, saying: “And his tail drew a third part of the stars of heaven and cast them down in darkness.”Like dark matter
The greatest loss occurred in the angelic ranks, but most of the lower orders of intelligence were involved in disloyalty. Of the 681,217 Material beens lost in Satania, ninety-five per cent were casualties of the Lucifer rebellion. Large numbers of midway creatures were lost on those individual planets whose Planetary Princes joined the Lucifer cause.
In many respects this rebellion was the most widespread and disastrous of all such occurrences in Nebadon. More personalities were involved in this insurrection than in both of the others. And it is to their everlasting dishonor that the emissaries of Lucifer and Satan spared not the infant-training schools on the finaliter cultural planet but rather sought to corrupt these developing minds in mercy salvaged from the evolutionary worlds. It was like the war of the universe that’s lead to the what we see in the universe .God have to rearrange and balance everything.
The ascending mortals were vulnerable, but they withstood the sophistries of rebellion better than the lower spirits. While many on the lower mansion worlds, those who had not attained final fusion with their Adjusters, fell, it is recorded to the glory of the wisdom of the ascension scheme that not a single member of the Satania ascendant citizenship resident on Jerusem participated in the Lucifer rebellion.
Hour by hour and day by day the broadcast stations of all Nebadon were thronged by the anxious watchers of every imaginable class of celestial intelligence, who intently perused the bulletins of the Satania rebellion and rejoiced as the reports continuously narrated the unswerving loyalty of the ascending mortals who, under their Melchizedek leadership, successfully withstood the combined and protracted efforts of all the subtle evil forces which so swiftly gathered around the banners of secession and sin. You can read and search more about the watchers as they were until Noah time helping him and they did have a great battle with the sinners and other demons.
It was over two years of system time from the beginning of the “war in heaven” until the installation of Lucifer’s successor. But at last the new Sovereign came, landing on the sea of glass with his staff. I was among the reserves mobilized on Edentia by Gabriel, and I well remember the first message of Lanaforge to the Constellation Father of Norlatiadek. It read: “Not a single Jerusem citizen was lost.
Every ascendant mortal survived the fiery trial and emerged from the crucial test triumphant and altogether victorious.” And on to Salvington, Uversa, and Paradise went this message of assurance that the survival experience of mortal ascension is the greatest security against rebellion and the surest safeguard against sin. This noble Jerusem band of faithful mortals numbered just 187,432,811.
With the arrival of Lanaforge the arch-rebels were dethroned and shorn of all governing powers, though they were permitted freely to go about Jerusem, the morontia spheres, and even to the individual inhabited worlds. They continued their deceptive and seductive efforts to confuse and mislead the minds of men and angels. But as concerned their work on the administrative mount of Jerusem, “their place was found no more.”
While Lucifer was deprived of all administrative authority in Satania, there then existed no local universe power nor tribunal which could detain or destroy this wicked rebel; at that time Michael was not a sovereign ruler.
The Ancients of Days sustained the Constellation Fathers in their seizure of the system government, but they have never handed down any subsequent decisions in the many appeals still pending with regard to the present status and future disposition of Lucifer, Satan, and their associates.
Thus were these archrebels allowed to roam the entire system to seek further penetration for their doctrines of discontent and self-assertion. But in almost two hundred thousand Urantia years they have been unable to deceive another world. No Satania worlds have been lost since the fall of the thirty-seven, not even those younger worlds peopled since that day of rebellion.
THE SON OF MAN ON URANTIA
Lucifer and Satan freely roamed the Satania system until the completion of the bestowal mission of Michael on Urantia. They were last on your world together during the time of their combined assault upon the Son of Man.
Formerly, when the Planetary Princes, the “angles of God,” were periodically assembled, “Satan came also,” claiming that he represented all of the isolated worlds of the fallen Planetary Princes. But he has not been accorded such liberty on Jerusem since Michael’s terminal bestowal. Subsequent to their effort to corrupt Michael when in the bestowal flesh, all sympathy for Lucifer and Satan has perished throughout all Satania, that is, outside the isolated worlds of sin.
The bestowal of Michael terminated the Lucifer rebellion in all Satania aside from the planets of the apostate Planetary Princes. And this was the significance of Jesus’ personal experience, just before his death in the flesh, when he one day exclaimed to his disciples, “And I beheld Satan fall as lightning from heaven.” He had come with Lucifer to Urantia for the last crucial struggle.
The Son of Man was confident of success, and he knew that his triumph on your world would forever settle the status of his agelong enemies, not only in Satania but also in the other two systems where sin had entered. There was survival for mortals and security for angels when your Master, in reply to the Lucifer proposals, calmly and with divine assurance replied, “Get you behind me, Satan.” That was, in principle, the real end of the Lucifer rebellion.
True, the Uversa tribunals have not yet rendered the executive decision regarding the appeal of Gabriel praying for the destruction of the rebels, but such a decree will, no doubt, be forthcoming in the fullness of time since the first step in the hearing of this case has already been taken.
Caligastia was recognized by the Son of Man as the technical Prince of Urantia up to near the time of his death. Said Jesus: “Now is the judgment of this world; now shall the prince of this world be cast down.” And then still nearer the completion of his lifework he announced, “The prince of this world is judged.” And it is this same dethroned and discredited Prince who was once termed “God of Urantia.”
The last act of Michael before leaving Urantia was to offer mercy to Caligastia and Daligastia, but they spurned his tender proffer. Caligastia, your apostate Planetary Prince, is still free on Urantia to prosecute his nefarious designs, but he has absolutely no power to enter the minds of men, neither can he draw near to their souls to tempt or corrupt them unless they really desire to be cursed with his wicked presence.
Before the bestowal of Michael these rulers of darkness sought to maintain their authority on Urantia, and they persistently withstood the minor and subordinate celestial personalities. But since the day of Pentecost this traitorous Caligastia and his equally contemptible associate, Daligastia, are servile before the divine majesty of the Paradise Thought Adjusters and the protective Spirit of Truth, the spirit of Michael, which has been poured out upon all flesh.
But even so, no fallen spirit ever did have the power to invade the minds or to harass the souls of the children of God. Neither Satan nor Caligastia could ever touch or approach the faith sons of God; faith is an effective armor against sin and iniquity. It is true: “He who is born of God faith keeps himself, and the wicked one touches him not.”
In general, when weak and dissolute mortals are supposed to be under the influence of devils and demons, they are merely being dominated by their own inherent and debased tendencies, being led away by their own natural propensities. The devil has been given a great deal of credit for evil which does not belong to him. Caligastia has been comparatively impotent since jesus and prophet muhammad came to this earth .Mohammed spoke to the Jinn and many tribes of demonic entities to enter the faith of submission to God , many did and many others went to be with different religions. King and prophet sulaiman’s once commanded the 72 legions of demonic entities along with thousands of thier followers and let them work for him by God power ,imprisoned them and enslaved them to do work in this earth for him.
PRESENT STATUS OF THE REBELLION
Early in the days of the Lucifer rebellion, salvation was offered all rebels by Michael in order by God. To all who would show proof of sincere repentance, he offered, upon his attainment of complete universe sovereignty, forgiveness and reinstatement in some form of universe service. None of the leaders accepted this merciful proffer.
But thousands of the angels and the lower orders of celestial beings, including hundreds of the Material Sons and Daughters, accepted the mercy proclaimed by the Panoptians and were given rehabilitation at the time of Jesus’ ,the devil mislead the people to believe that God is 3 and the trinity is God . Thats why God sent muhammad as the last prophet and the seal to teach human and the demons that there is no God but one God and he is only the one must be worshiped , the creator and not to worship anyone else and that there are no trinity as this myth and lies was created by the devil and lucifer to mislead human.
The arch deceiver has never been on Urantia since the days when he sought to turn back Michael from the purpose to complete the bestowal and to establish himself finally and securely as the unqualified ruler of Nebadon. Upon Michael’s becoming the settled head of the universe of Nebadon, Lucifer was taken into custody by the agents of the Uversa Ancients of Days and has since been a prisoner on satellite number one of the Father’s group of the transition spheres of Jerusem.
And here the rulers of other worlds and systems behold the end of the unfaithful Sovereign of Satania. Paul knew of the status of these rebellious leaders following Michael’s bestowal, for he wrote of Caligastia chiefs as “spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.”
Michael, upon assuming the supreme sovereignty of Nebadon, petitioned the Ancients of Days for authority to intern all personalities concerned in the Lucifer rebellion pending the rulings of the superuniverse tribunals in the case of Gabriel vs. Lucifer, placed on the records of the Uversa supreme court almost two hundred thousand years ago, as you reckon time.
Concerning the system capital group, the Ancients of Days granted the Michael petition with but a single exception: Satan was allowed to make periodic visits to the apostate princes on the fallen worlds until another messenger of God should be accepted by such apostate worlds, or until such time as the courts of Uversa should begin the adjudication of the case of Gabriel vs. Lucifer. Mohammed was the last messenger and until this day lucifer deceive his followers to trust in the trinity and dont believe in Islam , Quran and the Torah that declared God is one.
Satan could come to Urantia because you had no Son of standing in residence — neither Planetary Prince nor Material Son. God have no sons and he is supreme he dont need any one otherwise he will be no god if he have family.
Machiventa Melchizedek has since been proclaimed vicegerent Planetary Prince of Urantia, and the opening of the case of Gabriel vs. Lucifer has signalized the inauguration of temporary planetary regimes on all the isolated worlds. It is true that Satan did periodically visit Caligastia and others of the fallen princes right up to the time of the presentation of these revelations, when there occurred the first hearing of Gabriel’s plea for the annihilation of the archrebels. Satan is now unqualifiedly detained on the Jerusem prison worlds.
Since Michael’s final bestowal no one in all Satania has desired to go to the prison worlds to minister to the interned rebels. And no more beings have been won to the deceiver’s cause. For nineteen hundred years the status has been unchanged.
We do not look for a removal of the present Satania restrictions until the Ancients of Days make final disposition of the archrebels. The system circuits will not be reinstated so long as Lucifer lives. Meantime, he is wholly inactive. His lesser demons and satanic entities deceiving human and still taken order from him . Jesus ,moses and mohammed warned us about lucifer and the devil and how the evil one can whisper to human to do bad deeds and make them love sins and tempt them with lust, greed, and lies then destroying them with poverty and sickness.
But for ages the seven prison worlds of spiritual darkness in Satania have constituted a solemn warning to all Nebadon, eloquently and effectively proclaiming the great truth “that the way of the transgressor is hard”; “that within every sin is concealed the seed of its own destruction”; that “the wages of sin is death.” Continue Reading →
My mother Holy book and the black stone; Without light, you slowly rotten from the inside, without God you allow the dark energy to seep into your body and it will reflect on your behaviour as a human. You do not notice it at first because the evil one work silently and relentlessly to coarse your spirit by getting you in his darkness.
Your brain and mind knows the truth and you have a choice to decide but you always follow the temptation and ignore the obvious and the danger, you let it go until it is too late. Then you will be noticing the change in your personality with increasing temperament, anger, fear, lack of patience, greed, lies, negative disrespectful personality, driven to lust and self destructive behaviors.
Leaving those who truly love you and care for you because you think that there is no romance and sparks, there is no chemistry and common interests between you and it is all the work of the devil to distant you away from the good people toward lust and self destruction.
The created universe is made of 68 % of dark energy, and 27% of dark matters their power lies in their ability to go unnoticed, like the black halls. The stars, suns, moons and all other planets make about 5% of the seen universe and the human been make about 0.03% and that is a scientific fact.
Up to 60% of the human adult body is water. According to H.H. Mitchell, Journal of Biological Chemistry 158, the brain and heart are composed of 73% water, and the lungs are about 83% water. The skin contains 64% water, muscles and kidneys are 79%, and even the bones are watery: 31%.
Males of average height have about 4 grams of iron in their body, females about 3.5 grams.
Heavier elements were mostly produced much later, inside of stars. Hydrogen and helium are estimated to make up roughly 74% and 24% of all baryonic matter in the universe respectively.
Considering that this is a nuclear physics discussion, you might have guessed that the answer comes from the nuclear properties of iron. It happens that iron, and its closest neighbors, have the largest “binding energy” out of the 7000 different Isotopes.
Binding energy is simply the amount of energy we need to give to the atomic nucleus to break it apart into the protons and neutrons it’s made of. High binding energy means it’s harder to break this nucleus; it simply prefers to stay the way it is. On the other hand, a nucleus with low binding energy will be easily transformed into a different nuclear species, a different isotope or even a different element. In nature, this translates into having more of a particular type of element (high binding energy) and less of another (low binding energy).
Iron and its neighbors (elements between 22-30) occupy the top 38 places in the binding-energy ranking . And this basic nuclear property affects the stellar processes that create elements in the Universe. As a result, the heaviest stars will create an iron core in their centers, but never go beyond that. A lot of the stellar processes will end around iron, and therefore matter accumulates in the form of iron or its neighbors.
I think that the dark energy and dark matters in the universe are a small mini / microscopic sub particles I called (VACUUM PARTICLES) smaller than helium.
When you turn on the light in your room the darkness disappears at once, the darkness do not stay and go slowly but it will go away. That’s why in the presence of God and his angels the darkness and the devil will be gone; otherwise they will be dead and destroyed.
When the light switched off the source of that energy is gone but the light photons and the energy of that light still linger on, it loses energy and they become invisible light I called it dark energy.
This dark energy almost 2 third of the universe is telling me that once the 2 third of the angels who are light fought and defeated ,those who followed the devil which was third of the angels ( falling angels) and that the dark matters was a result of the defeated negative energy.
I believe that one day human will discover that most of the dark energy is positive energy and dark light, darkened photons. And that the most of dark matter are in fact a negative energy sub particles. Some of those particles can turn on and off from positive to negative and vise versa. ( Steve Ramsey)
I had a dream once back in 1973 ,I dreamt that 2 angels came to me holding my hands one from each hand pulling me nicely and telling me that God want to talk to you . I was so afraid I told them please leave me but they took me and I saw a large cloud in the sky came and stood over us and then God spoke from behind the clouds and told me WHY I LEFT MY PRAYERS AND MY WORSHIP TO HIM? The sound was an amazing power with light and thunder coming from the cloud.
How you know God that I left my prayers? (I did stopped and quiet my worship and prayers to him for a while at that time).
I know everything, I see and hear everything, and the voice answered me.
Then they asked me to go back, so I ran so fast and jumped a fence and hide under a tree. When I look up at the tree I saw golden apples so I took one and put it in my pocket and kept going in this new garden.
My dad told me that it is my guilt and subconscious mind trying to tell you that I did something wrong and that I must go back to the prayers. My mother told me God truly can speak to us in a dream or other ways and she believe that it is God who said that. So went back to my prayers and worship until this day.
I asked my Mom how about the fence and the golden apple, she said jumping a fence means that I will travel and leave my country which I did and immigrated to Canada.
The golden apple she said it indicates success, and bountiful rewards are, apple also is a test of our faith, as Adam and Eve was tempted by it. Gold is glitter of life, and the jumping fence also means that I will pass my test and overcome all obstacles, my mother said. She was great dreams analyzer and she helps me to become one too.
In time I did overcome my Anxiety, fear, and self-doubt when I moved to Canada and started from scratch, learned the language and gained the experience and all the degrees I wanted to get and accomplished my dreams. Every time I feel sad and lonely I remember my mother and her advice, her protection and guidance and it made feel better and push back the dark forces as hope ,love and kindness is part of the positive light that push all the dark energy that overwhelm our thoughts and cloud our thinking .
I remembered my mother room and her small side table where she used to put her Holy book on the top and small dark stone in the second shelf. She used to say that the holy book is God light, God words, and the dark stone is represent our bad deeds ,our heart of stone ,and she reminded me that we must always go with the light ,and avoid the devil so we don’t be like him . In time about few years the dark stone became little white in color!
I asked my mother where is the dark stone. She said still in the same place!
No mom, this is white stone! I am looking for the dark one. My mother said after many days of prayers and worshipping God I hold the stone and send blessing to it, as the stone is part of God creation too.
In time when God accept your worship his blessings spells over everything and change it, that when you know you are increased in faith and you are in God side when you start changing yourself to be good things around you change too. Continue Reading →
Whatever your loss, it’s personal to you, so don’t feel ashamed about how you feel, or believe that it’s somehow only appropriate to grieve for certain things. If the person, animal, relationship, or situation was significant to you, it’s normal to grieve the loss you’re experiencing. Whatever the cause of your grief, though, there are healthy ways to cope with the pain that, in time, can ease your sadness and help you come to terms with your loss, find new meaning, and eventually move on with your life.
Grieving is a highly individual experience; there’s no right or wrong way to grieve. How you grieve depends on many factors, including your personality and coping style, your life experience, your faith, and how significant the loss was to you.
Inevitably, the grieving process takes time. Healing happens gradually; it can’t be forced or hurried, and there is no “normal” timetable for grieving. Some people start to feel better in weeks or months. For others, the grieving process is measured in years. Whatever your grief experience, it’s important to be patient with yourself and allow the process to naturally unfold.
Myths and facts about grief and grieving
Myth: The pain will go away faster if you ignore it
Fact: Trying to ignore your pain or keep it from surfacing will only make it worse
in the long run. For real healing, it is necessary to face your grief and actively deal with it.
Myth: It’s important to “be strong” in the face of loss.
Fact: Feeling sad, frightened, or lonely is a normal reaction to loss.
Crying doesn’t mean you are weak. You don’t need to “protect” your family or friends by
Putting on a brave front. Showing your true feelings can help them and you.
Myth: If you don’t cry, it means you aren’t sorry about the loss.
Fact: Crying is a normal response to sadness, but it’s not the only one.
Those who don’t cry may feel the pain just as deeply as others.
They may simply have other ways of showing it.
Myth: Grieving should last about a year.
Fact: There is no specific time frame for grieving. How long it takes differs from
Person to person.
Myth: Moving on with your life means forgetting about your loss.
Fact: Moving on means you’ve accepted your loss
But that’s not the same as forgetting. You can move on with your life and keep
The memory of someone or something you lost as an important part of you.
In fact, as we move through life, these memories can become more and more
Integral to defining the people we are.
While grieving a loss is an inevitable part of life, there are ways to help cope with the pain, come to terms with your grief, and eventually, find a way to pick up the pieces and move on with your life.
Acknowledge your pain.
Accept that grief can trigger many different and unexpected emotions.
Understand that your grieving process will be unique to you.
Seek out face-to-face support from people who care about you.
Support yourself emotionally by taking care of yourself physically.
Recognize the difference between grief and depression.
In 1969, psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross introduced what became known as the “five stages of grief.” These stages of grief were based on her studies of the feelings of patients facing terminal illness, but many people have generalized them to other types of negative life changes and losses, such as the death of a loved one or a break-up.
Shock and Denial: “This can’t be happening to me.”
Anger: “Why is this happening? Who is to blame?”
Bargaining: “Make this not happen, and in return I will .”
Depression: “I’m too sad to do anything.”
Acceptance: “I’m at peace with what happened.”
If you are experiencing any of these emotions following a loss, it may help to know that your reaction is natural and that you’ll heal in time. However, not everyone who grieves goes through all of these stages—and that’s okay. Contrary to popular belief, you do not have to go through each stage in order to heal. In fact, some people resolve their grief without going through any of these stages. And if you do go through these stages of grief, you probably won’t experience them in a neat, sequential order, so don’t worry about what you “should” be feeling or which stage you’re supposed to be in.
Kübler-Ross herself never intended for these stages to be a rigid framework that applies to everyone who mourns. In her last book before her death in 2004, she said of the five stages of grief: “They were never meant to help tuck messy emotions into neat packages. They are responses to loss that many people have, but there is not a typical response to loss, as there is no typical loss. Our grieving is as individual as our lives.” Continue Reading →
For some kids the pressure to win a game is just too big. When a competitive child loses a game they might throw a tantrum or they might gloat when they win. It must leave some parents wondering if their child should play sports at all!
Playing sports helps kids stay active, learn new skills and make friends. It teaches them about teamwork, responsibility and competition. Kids should be able to enjoy all aspects of sports – not just the final result.
Focus on how your child improves with each game. They will learn that you can have a good game despite the score.
Some kids will refuse to play if they don’t think they’re very good. It takes time and effort to improve skills and build confidence. So encourage them to keep playing. Continue Reading →
Halloween has always been a holiday filled with mystery, magic and superstition. It originated with the ancient Celtic festival of Samhain , when people would light bonfires and wear costumes to ward off ghosts. Over time, however, Halloween evolved into a day of activities like trick-or-treating, dressing in scary costumes, decorating homes, carving pumpkins and more.
One common factor between Celtic and modern cultures still remains. Halloween has always been primarily focused on ghosts and death. What many people don’t realize is that certain Halloween activities that focus on spirits could turn out to be dangerous because they can contribute to spirits possessing our bodies.
What comes to mind for many people when they think about possession of spirits are scenes from horror movies in which a person shakes uncontrollably, vomits, says vile things, etc. The book “Possessed by Ghosts” portrays possession in a very different manner. You even get the impression that possession is a common occurrence in today’s world.
Yes, I can confirm that possession is a common occurrence in today’s world and Hollywood’s interpretation of it is far, far from reality. But the goal of horror movies was never to educate people, but rather to entertain them
When Mood Swings Make Sense
It is perfectly natural to experience anxiety and to suffer from mood swings, especially during times like this when the world is experiencing a pandemic and there is so much uncertainty. Nonetheless, when we are in the midst of a severe mood swing, it can feel extremely overwhelming. Sometimes situations in our lives cause us to go from one extreme to the other, up and down, and it’s like being trapped on a never-ending roller-coaster ride. We feel torn inside, unable to make clear decisions, and our judgment is clouded by the uncertainty.
It’s not only difficult on the person suffering from mood swings, but also on the loved ones that surround them. They’re forced to walk on eggshells because they don’t know what might trigger another episode of negative behavior. They also live in constant fear because they never know if they can count on their loved ones or who will show up, Jekyll or Hyde.
We hear from people on a regular basis who suffer from mood swings, and also from the loved ones that are living with those who are experiencing drastic mood swings. They tell us things like:
“I go through these phases where I can’t control my shopping habits and how much money I spend. When I’m in the process of shopping, I feel happy and euphoric. But then afterward, I feel depressed and lost.”
“Sometimes everything seems impossible or difficult, even a little task or errand feels overwhelming. Then, a few hours later, I’m bursting with energy and feel as if I can conquer the world. I many projects that I want to accomplish, but they never come to realization because the high pops and become deflated. It’s an endless cycle.”
“My husband is loving, caring, and giving most of the time, but at other times, he is extremely aggressive to the point I fear he could hurt me.” It is all about addictions, to shopping, sex, drugs, alcohol, even romance can be an addiction if it is not under control, abuse, power, control, greed, lust and everything that make your adrenal rush can lead to an addiction . Bipolar people have tendency to do this more than others. Before you ask the psychic and medium, you must seek the treatment and the truth from a man of science, psychologists, doctors and psychiatrists as your problem could be a paranoia, psychosis, severe anxiety, anger issue, or depression, then in the end you can blame the spirit for it .
In my experience with more than 2000 paranormal investigation since 1986 to now I found that almost 90% of those cases are 100% psychological problems that goes away when the person take his/ her medications, seek doctors help and get the real help from a train physician and or clinical psychologist . People can see things, hear things , and they think that it is a paranormal events but it is not in 90% of the time, it is so real for them but the cause is not a spirit attachment, that doesn’t mean there are no attachments, as in same case I do believe it is .
Does Spirit Attachment Cause Mood Swings?
Many people don’t realize that a common symptom of spirit attachment is an extreme or rapid change in mood. Typically, mood swings occur when a person has two or more spirits attached that have opposite personalities, and this is why our emotions swing back and forth like a pendulum. But this is also can cause by mental disorder, bipolar disorders, anxiety and depression, psychosis and the list goes on and on.
Just like humans, spirits have different personalities, different reactions to various matters, and different perceptions of reality. So imagine what happens if we have two spirits attached to us, one with extroverted traits and the other with introverted traits? Our behavior will reflect both of these characteristics, and which characteristic prevails at any given moment will depend on which spirit is currently in control.
This can be compared to three people inside a car. I disagree with this as in my opinion only one kind of spirit can attached to you in 99% of the times , spirit that fit you or oppose you, so if you are introverted you attract same kind of spirit , and if you are extrovert you attract the same . It is the energy science behind that attraction and repulsion like 2 same polarity of magnet. If it happens that you attract an opposite spirit to your personality you will show trademark of bipolar personality.
Well, the world of spirits is built around emotions and they will always intensify these emotional states to extreme, dangerous levels in people with whom they are attached. Hence, isolation and socialization will be taken to such intense levels that a person could find themselves going to extremes. One might feel deeply depressed and worthless, experiencing a lack of energy, and having difficulty concentrating. Then, shortly after, one might have a decreased need for sleep, an increase in activity levels, and ultimately display impulsive or high-risk behavior.
That’s all depends on the stress level that you have , and the factors that led to it, like an argument at work or home, lost of job and so on.
This can also apply to other situations in life. For example, feeling devoutly religious one minute, and then hating God the next; feeling love for someone at times, but then despising them at other times; liking certain tasks for awhile, then suddenly dreading them. Such shifts in mood could happen multiple times per day, which becomes burdensome and psychologically and physically overwhelming. Here is the devil plays big part of it as he always want you away from God, blame God for everything and he is trying to get you away from prayers and make you fat away from God as possible . When can isolate you then he can control you and play with you like a cat play with a mouse.
Not all people who experience mood swings suffer from spirit attachment. However, when traditional treatment and therapies don’t offer satisfactory results, it would be wise to determine if you or a loved one might be under the influence of spirits.
Chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS) is a disorder characterized by extreme exhaustion or lethargy that does not go away with rest and cannot be explained by an underlying medical condition. For the medical world, the exact cause of chronic fatigue syndrome still remains unknown.
Some reports estimate that approximately thirty million people worldwide suffer from chronic fatigue and ninety percent of people who suffer from CFS are not diagnosed. Twenty-five percent of patients with chronic fatigue syndrome feel severely ill and are unable to function. Chronic fatigue can affect everyone, even children–however, more women than men experience CFS.
According to Harvard Medical School, “Chronic fatigue syndrome begins suddenly, often following a flu-like infection or an episode of physical or psychological trauma, such as surgery, a traumatic accident or the death of a loved one. Or rejection from someone you love, the illness lasts for many months or years, and only a small percentage of people recover full health.”
In addition to fatigue, many people experience reduced concentration, loss of memory, frequent headaches, muscle pain, enlarged lymph nodes on their neck or armpits, sleep disorders, and lack of enthusiasm.
Over the last forty-five years of freeing people from spirit and ghost attachments, we have discovered that the majority of people who reach out to us for help suffer from chronic fatigue. Lack of energy is a frequent indication that one is dealing with spirit attachment in the eye of some psychic but to me I know it is 90% psychological problem and only 10% spiritual in nature.
When a soul doesn’t transition to the other side, it will eventually become weaker and weaker. As a result, all spirits that remain among the living must find a source of energy in order to function. Again this what some medium says but to me. The good spirits always in God hands and it will go without fear to the other side, and only come to visit you under God permission or it come in your dreams. The other spirit who are not sure they stay in limbo between this world and the other side as their heart still belong to this world , due to greed or other earthly factors .
Most spirits don’t know how to recharge their own energy, so they are forced to steal it from the living. At first a spirit might draw small amounts of energy from various people until it permanently attaches to one specific human being, or a place.
Individuals who are physically healthy and emotionally strong resist spirit attachments to them. Continue Reading →
We are all have bad days .Your car breaks down, you wait two hours at the doctor’s office, a nonsensical policy change is announced at work, you sit on your glasses, and you start making dinner and realize you’re missing an essential ingredient. Forgot you mask and then started to get worried about covid .forgot to feed your pet and you are in the middle of the road toward your work etc. what if we did this or that, makes tired and lose sleep and it can lead to depression
I woke up feeling tired, I blamed the cold and the snow, I did shovel and cleaned the snow from my front garage and the garden large patio .I was angry that winter here is too long almost 8 months. I lose my beautiful garden and song birds; the summer is too short in Calgary. Maybe I should move to BC. Your mind gives you so many scenarios and option but the reality is that I can’t move now until I sale my house and that will happen in 18 months, 3 weeks and 16 hours from now. Who’s counting anyway, LOL?
Researching this topic was a real eye-opener for me. I feel as though I’ve learned so much about emotions in general, and more than that, it’s opened up a new level of acceptance for myself and the way negative emotions present in my life. DONT LOOK BACK, DONT WORRY ABOUT THOSE WHO DONT CARE FOR YOU, you pray for them and wish them all the best , but karma will get them one day and show them how they were wrong about you and how they made a bad choice . This is their lives and not yours so keep focus and keep going .
I’ve definitely fallen victim to thinking that negative emotions need to be banished from my emotional repertoire and felt that they lessened my emotional intelligence through how I react to them. Learning that not only are they completely normal, but with a little bit of work, openness and curiosity from me, I could learn to develop better compassion and control.
If there is one thing I want you to take away from reading this article, it’s the compassion piece for your full capacity to experience emotions as a human being. Negative emotions are an extremely important part of our existence. Be open to them, embrace their part in your life and learn to incorporate them in proactive ways. Remember to respond rather than react, and I’m confident you’ll find new ways of approaching these emotions with authenticity and positivity. LOVE THOSE WHO HATES YOU, CARE FOR THOSE WHO ARE UNGRATEFUL, TEACH THOSE WHO DIDN’T TEACH YOU, help those who didn’t help you in moderation, and always show the genuine compassion of your soul
Please e mail me here in this blog and tell me your story your solution and your methods .
email@example.com Continue Reading →
Family estrangements are fundamental to the human story, starting the day that God tossed Adam and Eve from the garden. Likewise, in Greek mythology, there’s Electra, who murdered her mother to avenge her father, and Tantalus, who cooked his son and fed him to Olympian gods. Then Abraham who almost killed his son Ishmael as a sacrifice just when he puts the knife on his neck , God stopped him and replace the sacrifice with a lamb.
Marriage may fall ,partners drifting away from each other, romance turn to boring life and a nutshell routine, family cut-offs have led to painful, shattering ends: King Henry II was forever on edge fielding challenges and betrayals from his sons; Mozart’s marriage left him estranged from his father, the controlling, nagging, unbearable Leopold; This king also killed most of his wives and broke the catholic law by marring his wife sister after killing here , that’s why he discovered the Anglican church to separate from the catholic and make his own rules.
The American founding father Benjamin Franklin broke from his son, William, who supported the British king. Then there was the rift between Ronald Reagan and his activist daughter, Patti; and between Barack Obama’s, Jr and Sr. the list goes on.
Estrangements between siblings are especially brutal. The sisters and Hollywood stars Olivia de Havilland and Joan Fontaine engaged in a lifelong feud. Julia Roberts helped to fund a custody battle against her brother and fellow actor, Eric. From Cleopatra to Genghis Khan, the powerful have murdered or cut off their siblings as a matter of routine.
I’ve seen breakups in my own family. My brother and his wife, I tried hard to make them back but few years later they are departed, I blame my brother behavior for losing such a wonderful and beautiful woman. I bought them a house and helped them so much but at the end all the money I spent didn’t help at all . When you lose respect you lose the passion and romance.
The statistics on family estrangement vary by study but are always sobering. In 2015, the psychologist Richard Conti of Kean University reported that more than 43 per cent of the 154 students he surveyed had experienced a family estrangement.
More recent statistics come from Karl Pillemer, a family sociologist and gerontologist directing the Cornell Family Reconciliation Project. In his latest book, Fault Lines: Fractured Families and How to Mend Them (2020), he reports that among a representative sample of 1,340 Americans aged 18 and older, 27 per cent were estranged from a relative – including 10 per cent estranged from a parent or child, 8 per cent from a sibling, and the remaining 9 per cent estranged from a smattering of cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents and other relations. Half of these estrangements had gone on for at least four years. Looking only at immediate families, Pillemer estimates that nearly 20 per cent of American adults are in a state of estrangement right now.
This cold stat shows the human suffering caused by estrangement. ‘Being rejected by family, or deciding to leave, can be one of the most traumatic experiences in a person’s life, ‘writes the social work researcher Kylie Agllias in Family Estrangement: A Matter of Perspective (2016). ‘Adult children are maligned for estranging an older parent, or parents shamed for casting out a child,’ and sibling estrangements are ‘often overlooked altogether’.
Thankfully, a group of therapists and social scientists are forging a road back. One of them is the American psychologist Joshua Coleman, author of the forthcoming book Rules of Estrangement. His interest in the field was sparked after his own daughter, then in her early 20s, cut him off. ‘It was the most painful, disorienting thing that I’ve ever had to go through,’ he tells me. He consulted a series of therapists who gave him ‘terrible, counterproductive advice, from telling me to point out all the good things I’d done for her to demanding she talk to me’.
None of it worked so Coleman came up with a plan of his own: he would see everything through his daughter’s eyes and take responsibility for her complaints. It took a while, but the strategy was effective, and his daughter took him back. ‘We are now very close,’ he says.
A complementary perspective comes from Pillemer. ‘Can’t live with them, can’t live without them,’ he says of families after decades of research. Despite the cheery view of family depicted in media, in reality ‘most people have an ambivalent experience’, he says. As part of the research for his earlier book 30 Lessons for Living: Tried and True Advice from the Wisest Americans (2012), Pillemer asked the elderly about life lessons they valued most. ‘A surprising number … talked about family estrangements as the most disruptive [and] distressing’ events of all, he says.
Finding almost no existing research on the topic, Pillemer stepped into the breach, launching a series of studies including a national survey and in-depth interviews. These people, who’d been through estrangement, were ‘despondent’, says Pillemer. But as the interviews continued, he ran into a minority who had successfully reconciled after 10, 20 or even 30 years. ‘For them it was so powerful, it was such a transformative experience’ that Pillemer shifted his focus to them, culling their wisdom into his new book Fault Lines. Continue Reading →